The Daily Baxter

We need to talk.

What did you do to my downstairs.  It’s been almost a week, and it’s still really irritating.

I know I look handsome, and I hear you say that the price of beauty is often painful, but I most definitely did not sign up for this.

And let’s be clear.  I will keep licking it.  I do not believe you that it will get better if I leave it alone.  It was your lack of judgement that got me into this pickle—I’ll be handling the situation from here.

Why don’t you take some time to think about what you’ve done.  I hope you’re happy.

I’ve got lots to smile about…no mats for 5 days in a row, tasty peanut butter and benadryl 5 days in a row, and a dapper holiday themed neckerchief.

And a stick!

OK OK, you got me.  I don’t really care about most of those things. I’d be happy with just a stick.

You think I could get someone to put peanut butter on a stick for me?   Now that would be worth grinning about.  I’m smirking a bit just thinking about it.

So…I didn’t get to go to Grandpa Mitch’s birthday party.  He turned 60, and I heard there was lots of people and lots of pizza.

I don’t know what the problem was—I like people!  I like pizza!  I like Grandpa Mitch! 

I wish I could have been there, but I guess they thought I’d be better suited to guarding the house and keeping the cats in line while they were gone.  I am excellent at that!

Thanks to Cousin Andrea for the special spray.  It’s not nearly as enjoyable as peanutbutter and benadryl, but I suppose it has it’s merits :)

This morning Amanda made me a special PB&J breakfast.

Except instead of jelly she used that bottle of stuff.  She said it’s because I’m licking my weenis too much.

I say my junk itches after getting all shaved down and that I’ll lick it for the next 40 years if it means more of this special breakfast treatment.

If this is medicine, then sign me up to be the next celebrity to go to rehab.

Yum yum yum!

Your need to move all the things in the house to different spots and the parade of evil suck monsters and smelly sprays and scrubbers is just plain perplexing.

Why is it better if the shoes are taken upstairs when you’re only going to bring them back downstairs and walk out the very door you moved them away from?

Why is the house better when you mask all of its good smells with nasty chemicals and sponges I’m not allowed to eat?

Me and my new haircut think you’d feel much more productive if you took us to the park instead.

Don’t think about it, just do it.

Whew!  My longday has been all sorts of messed up.

First, Amanda came home super early, and then I went to see Miss Lynda.

Apparently Amanda meant business about eradicating my weaving experiment—and I hadn’t been to the groomer since November 19th.  Yikes!

Anyway, I am officially the cleanest Tibetan Terrier on the block.  I’m so shiny and white that I make the snow look dingy.

Take that mother nature!

You all know I was at Grandma’s house, but did you know that I learned to weave while I was there?

I did.

Problem is that I didn’t want to disturb any of Grandma’s special yarns, so I just practiced on myself.  I wove in tons and tons and tons (and tons) of mats into my fur.  It was fun, and I’m definitely a gifted weaver.

Amanda and Ryan said this was a bad idea and have spent all their free time destroying my masterpieces with combs and brushes.

They weren’t even swayed by how adorable I look with a cat toy stuck in my beard.  I don’t understand how they could be impervious to this kind of cute, they must have hearts of stone.

How many differences can you find between these two photos?  The left is from when I first arrived at Grandma’s, the right is now.

What?!  I like the shaggy look.  But Grandma said it was important that I be able to see what’s both inside and outside her house.  It took her 3 days to cut off tiny pieces of my bangs and muzzle hairs.  She says she could have done a much better job, but I have a very wiggly face.  I say that scissors anywhere near your eyes are scary!

Anyway, I DO like to be able to see, even if this cut isn’t perfect.

Shhhhhhhhhhhh!  Don’t tell Amanda — you know how she is about hair and hair products.