The Daily Baxter

I’m too socks-y for this bed

Too socks-y for this bed

So socks-y I saaaaaiiid.

That Right Said Fred made one catchy song.  I’m not sure why he wasn’t more popular, but I think he might have started to lose his audience talking about the catwalk.  The only place I want to see cats walk is off a short pier.

I’m trying to decide where to go with this as my next trick.

Would it be cooler if I could balance this on the tip of my nose like a seal, or if I just made it levitate a few inches above my paw?

As cool as the levitation seems, I don’t think it has any practical value whereas the seal trick has potential as a valuable camouflaging skill.  Who knows when I might have to blend in with a herd of seals?

It could happen.

I am a hero. 

Yup! Bonafide, for reals and everything.

Last night I spent almost 2 hours trying to state my case, and Amanda spent 2 hours ignoring me.  Except for a few minutes where she came and tried to calm me down, then tried to video tape me for entertainment purposes.  Seriously!! I was on a mission!  No time for cute videos!!

Here’s the scoop.  I have never been a fan of the basement.  I also am not a big fan of change.  On Monday night Ryan did some rearranging in the basement and set up his bike so he could ride it inside.  Why’d he do that?  It just seems weird.  And I don’t like it.

But I sucked it up and forgot about the bike because there were real issues at hand.  I stood on those steps to the basement and barked and barked and barked.  I barked so much I needed 2 bowls of water. After a long, long time Ryan came down.  I ran right over to the cupboard and I looked anxiously at him and I waited and I wiggled my little tail just to make sure he was paying attention.

He got my message and opened that cupboard alright.  Let’s just say that it got louder from there and if Amanda thinks I’m a loud barker she might want to do a little self review.   She is LOUD!

What was in the cupboard?  You ready for it?  It was a big, fat, scary, gross, disgusting, icky, nasty rat!  IN THE HOUSE!

Of course no one wanted to touch that thing, so this ski glove and a pair of extra long grill tongs and a garbage can were all rounded up.  Ryan did all the heavy lifting, and I mostly went on a mission to steal Amanda’s gloves.  What?  I did my job of identifying the perpetrator, it’s Ryan’s job to hand out punishment, right?

As for Amanda, you owe me.  Big time.  I don’t like the bike, but I’m not dumb enough to bark at it for hours.  Sheesh!

Here’s a pic of cousin Dixie.  I figured since I’ve mentioned her a few times you might like more proof she exists.

Don’t get any ideas though, this picture is from a loooong time ago.  She’s definitely not this cute anymore.  Unless you think giant scaredy cat mooses that sound like a pack of sea lions are endearing, you’re gonna want to trust me on this.

Ok.  So maybe the howling this morning was a bit pre-emptive.  It was a good exercise in learning just how pitiful I can appear.  I’m pretty sure that will come in handy in the future.

Turns out that Krista showed up about an hour into my blues performance and toted me off to camp for the day.  Camp is pretty awesome, but it brings up a whole new set of issues—most concerning is the fact that this is pretty much all I have the energy to do.

Why don’t you be a dear and bring me my dinner and fed it to me bit by bit?  I’ll need some water too.  I’m pretty sure I could learn to work a straw if it meant I didn’t have to actually stand up and go through the labor of lapping with my tongue.

Have you ever decided to play a really cool game only to realize that you got your head stuck in someplace it wasn’t meant to be?

In theory, playing under the car hammock was the best idea ever.

In reality, getting my head stuck in the slot where the seat belt goes was a real buzz kill.

Krista came back again today and busted me outta this joint. Don’t tell on me! Shhhhh!

Ohhhhh UFO filled with food.  Please release your tasty tidbits.  I am too tired to shake them out of you.

On Monday everyone left me alone and went to work again.  I was a little sad, but since I was kicked out of bed so early I figured I’d take a nap and then worry about it.

And then Krista showed up!

I met Krista last week.  She smells like lots of dogs and seemed pretty nice and I guess she thinks I’m nice too because she came and rescued me from my crate.  How awesome is that?

Anyway, I went to her house and played all day long, and then she brought me home and put me right back where she found me.  I’ll bet Amanda and Ryan think I was behaving in my crate all day, and have no idea that I left and went to a dog party.  Ha!

I think I’m doing a pretty good job at keeping the secret, as long as I stay awake enough to do a few tail wags and happy dances I’ll bet they’ll never catch on!

What do you make of this?

My nose tells me it’s 2 chickens on the handlebars of a bicycle, but I’ve never seen a chicken in real life before. I was thinking perhaps I should taste one just to be sure, but Amanda said that I’d better not.

I think she might be wrong—I think those chickens are begging to be sampled. Why else would they be on a bike outside of Dick’s Sporting Goods in the midst of a busy shopping plaza?

Their stupid ugly feet dont even reach the pedals!