The Daily Baxter

Dear Monroe County Parks Department,

You see how goofy I look in this photo?  Well you look really goofy too.  You keep saying that Ellison Park isn’t a sanctioned dog park, but this past weekend you clearly had posted dozens of professionaly printed signs stating “DOG PARK & DISC GOLF CLOSED”. 

How can something that doesn’t exist be closed?  And if there isn’t a dog park, then why are there bag dispensers that are generally stocked built into park structures? Those bags are only meant for one thing and we both know it—it’s also why you have ample amounts of trash cans conveniently along the path to “Dog Beach”.

I get that you were hosting a fancy bike expo and that you wanted the park in tip top shape for the event.  I’m just a dog, but I’m smart enough to know that all the work you’ve been doing in the past month to pretty the park up had to be funded somehow.  Perhaps by the revenue generated by issuing 22 tickets to dog owners?

Is it safe to assume that since your big event is over that we’ll be resuming play time business as usual?  I saw you on the news and you mentioned that you get a lot of complaints about unleashed dogs in Ellison.  I’ll bet you get more complaints from proud parents of pooches who think your pavement paradise poor excuse for a playground is a suitable alternative.  For the love of wagging tails and tongues, it’s only open ‘til 5PM for five months of the year!

You let me know if you need an advisory board or some other means to help you get your priorities and plans in order.

Until then, I’ll be at the park.  I’m just not telling you which one ;)

Sincerely,

Sir Baxter B.